2020 would be the year to Focus. We were all moved in and settled into the new studio with a great forecast of things to come: new ideas, new strategies, new hopes, new dreams, new determination. the wheels began to roll right out of the gate. My first art show was in February. I found a series of classes that proved to be popular and well attended; one that would continue through out the year. Preparations began for our Spring Weekend event: Fairytale.
Then it hit. Seriously? It was a joke at first. (5G towers, China, Italy: too far to worry about; so much fear) Then, stories started funneling in that it was serious.
March. So much uncertainty. Buzz words: essential, nonessential, corona, pandemic, shutdown, quarantine.
"Live one day at a time for tomorrow is not promised." "Here today, gone tomorrow." "Hold on loosely." "It could all be gone in an instant."
March 13th. It was all over. I closed my doors for good. Something died inside of me yet I knew that it was for my good.
Months before, I had been dealing with so much anxiety, stress, and no sleep. I was exhausted. So being forced to close, was kind of a relief. But for how long? Surely, I would resume operations in a month or two.
I reached out to my landlord to no avail. I filled out all the government assistance forms to no avail. Three months passed and there was no revenue. The decision was inevitable. Move out in the cover of darkness. Sell what you can and give away the rest. And so began the process of releasing everything that I had acquired over the last three years...all the beautiful things...things....stuff...it was just stuff. I could never replace all the amazing connections and network of people that I had come into contact with. Refunding thousands of dollars for classes and events that had already been paid for: I don't know how I did it. But it was just enough. The Lord made sure of it.
Then came the lawsuit. All summer long. The threats, more stress, more anxiety. would we lose our house, and something popped in my left shoulder. Meanwhile the country was imploding all around. Division, violence, hatred, loss....
We finally surrendered it all on my birthday! October 31. Just let it go. All the inventory and furnishings that were left. (It's probably still rotting in a warehouse somewhere.) What an unforgettable birthday present. Physical pain could not be ignored any longer. And the pandemic continued.
As if that wasn't enough, I was targeted by Copyright Infringement trolls over my David Bowie Sculpted brush. And then an MRI indicated that the irritating pain in my shoulder and neck was in fact a rotator cuff tear and a tendon tear.
Awww 2020. A blip in the timeline of history. A blink. A vapor. An interlude to the musical motion picture of my life.
I am reminded that I am only visiting this planet...a mere traveler en route to my final destination. The view from Heaven is a good one. I seek to please only One. I have suffered much loss this year. but who hasn't? I have gained a new perspective. My faith is stronger than it has ever been. Oh yes! It has been challenged to the core. I will not be shaken; my foundation is on cement. I will not be frightened, for I have gone through what most people fear the most: that of losing it all... The only thing that won't change is God alone: the One true God. He has been my healer, my provision, my comforter, my redeemer, my hope. When man disappoints, He does not and will not. My word at the start of 2020 was FOCUS. Who knew that it would remind me to FIX my gaze on Him alone. Despite all the chaos and confusion around me, that one word centered me all year long.
Goodbye 2020, it's been real...Now it's time to SHIFT.
I am ready.